THIS IS MY POSTPARTUM WIFE.

We had just welcomed our baby girl, and the postpartum period was tough on my wife Sarah. She gained weight and was exhausted. Last week at the bank, a rude consultant mocked her after seeing her old ID photo. How dare he? Furious, I went back a few days later to teach him an unforgettable lesson.

Hey everyone! Just your average new dad Edward here, sleep-deprived and running on cuddles (because hello, endless diaper changes!), but utterly smitten with my 8-week-old daughter, Lily.

She’s a total peanut with the cutest chubby cheeks and the softest hair you’ve ever seen. Being a parent is pure magic, don’t get me wrong. The gurgles, the coos, the way she lights up at the sound of your voice… pure symphony.

But man, nobody warned me about the postpartum period. It’s like this relentless beast that snuck in and stole the sunshine from my normally radiant wife, Sarah. Dark circles under her eyes, constant exhaustion… you get the picture?

Anyway, this story is about something that happened a few days ago, and I gotta get it off my chest. So buckle up, because it involves a jerk of a bank consultant who RIDICULED my postpartum wife and a FIGHT for a little bit of decency. Let’s go!

Sarah needed to hit the bank for some monotonous grown-up stuff. It wasn’t like brain surgery, you know? Just a quick in-and-out to get things sorted.

“I’ll be quick!” she promised, throwing on a comfy dress, pulling her hair back in a messy ponytail (because hello, newborn!), and plastering on a smile, the kind that doesn’t quite reach your eyes but you hope does the trick.

Fast forward to later that night, and that smile was nowhere to be found. Instead, there were tear tracks and a trembling voice. Turns out, some middle-aged punk named Mark at the bank decided to unload on my wife.

Sarah told me this jerk looked at her ID, then right at her (looking a little more “mom” than her pre-baby pic, which, duh!), and smirked, loud enough for the ENTIRE freaking bank to hear, saying: